My husband :)

Since we are on opposite sides of the country for the time being, we send each other pictures multiple times a day! and I found a few this morning and just thought I would share of my most recent pic favorites!!:)

last day of the green camis :) He looks sexy, but gosh I cant wait for those deserts!!! <3

this is what he sent when I told him it was cold here back home, a picture showing the amazing weather out in Cali!! lol

this pic just cracks me up, we have this thing were we always joke about him not wearing his ring since im not out there, I joke that he only wears it when im around so he can pick up chicks, well he sent this pic right before he got out of the truck one weekend cause i kept picking on him about supposedly not wearing his ring!

And.... the deserts are back!!!:) gosh I sure do love him in those!!!:)

This pic is a little old, but I just think its adorable, and a reminder of how great of a dad he will be once we do have children!!

isnt he just soo handsome!!??

again a little old, but probably one of my most favorite pictures of him ever!!:)

<3

Looking at pictures of Brandon today, makes me feel closer to him, and I just need to keep reminding myself in just a few short months we will be together!!! not sure yet whether it will be together out in Cali, or together back home... but regardeless I know him and I will make it through either situation we need too!!! Still not sure what exactly is going on with everything, but by April we will know at least more of what direction things will be going in!! I really didnt have much to blog about today, but wanted to share these pics at least !! :)

"Caught between and rock and a harder place"

How do you find the words to explain your situation, how do you find the words to convince not only everyone else, but also yourself that everything will work out alright! How do you know what is the best decision is, how do you know what decision is best when you dont have all the facts, when it feels like those who are supposed to be helping you seem to not truely have your best interests at heart? When it feels like they are doing only enough to get by and get their paycheck, like they dont really have your true interests at heart. This is definetly one thing that I really do NOT get about the military... how can they crucify one man and do something that is going to affect him the rest of his life without any proof, how come they wont rightfully, honestly and correctly investigate this case... why are they so set on doing this all the wrong way!!!! Why would they rather close this whole case and convict the wrong person instead of ttaking the time to find the actual person who did this... I dont get it and it really hurts... People not doing their jobs correctly is going to affect my husband and my life like its going too, and put us in such a difficult position... words dont justify how betrayed I feel, I lost I feel, and how completly helpless I feel.


What can I say to make my husband less stressed, Im scared to death but yet need to find the words to help him get through this, I need to find the words to make sure he knows I will always be here, no matter what shit either of us go through... I just feel like I have my hands tied behind my back, like no matter how hard I try or how much I want to help, I cant..I cant do anything, I cant make this go away...I cant help prove his innocence.. and I cant find the right words to explain any of it, or help make him feel better... I just feel so helpless, so insignificant, so worthless, so.. just not good enough!!! :(  God please help us get through this... because it's way out of our hands now!!! <3

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote has more meaning to me and Brandon right now, than just about anything else!! For those of you who don't know whats going on with us right now, just know that we are going through a few things (no not marriage problems or issues..just life) and we could really use the extra prayers!! We have alot of decisions to make in the next few days that are going to impact the rest of our lives!! I'm personally really pissed about the whole situation because plain and simple... it's just not fair.  It's not fair that my husband has to go through something like this when he is nothing but a great person, and has dont nothing but be completly open and honest with his co-workers and he is genuinely a good person!! I just dont get how certain things work in the military.. and its really frustrating that something that isnt true is going to be affecting the rest of our lives!! I just dont get it, and frankly don't like it.. but what can you do about it?  For the few of you who know what is going on right now you know how difficult of a decision my husband and I have to make in the next few days.  So especially for those of you who understand the situation, please any help or advice in the situation is greatly appreciated... and those who have already given that thank you from the bottom of our hearts we truely are very thankful for everyones inputs and advice right now!!


The last couple of days have been very stressful on us, but at the same time it just shows how strong of a relationship Brandon and I have.  No matter what we will always be there for each other, and always have each others backs!! I trust my husband with every ounce of me, and I bet my life on his word!! So when someone tries to break that trust, it doesnt break us down, it just strengthens that bond.  So even though I would give anything to not have to be going through what we are going through right now, but honestly thank you... thank you for proving to everyone that nothing is going to break us down... thank you for trying and failing..thank you for show US how lucky we really are with one another, and thank you for showing we sometimes take small things for granted and helping us put things into a better perspective!!


This whole situation has also shown us how we really do put too much emphasis on small things, and we blow them out of proportion in how bad they really are.... I have always considered myself to be more mature than the majority of people my age, but this whole situation has made me feel like I have gained years of knowledge.. I feel like I might not have really been as mature as I thought, because now I really feel different. But again, I cant stress enough how much we really need everyones prayers for the best possible outcome in this situation!!!  An I guess like they said, what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger...well baby get ready to be stronger than we ever thought possible, cause no chance in hell we're gonna let this bull shit bring us down!!! <3 I Love you so much Brandon Joseph, and I'll always be there for you! :)

Eleanor Roosevelt

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" - Eleanor Roosevelt

           This quote is one of my favorites, I've got at least two frames with this quote hanging in my apartment.. and I think it's a quote more people should look at it and really think about the words.  So many people think they know best for others, they think just because they are older, or have been through the same experience before they know whats best for you!  But at times, I think we need to think about our own dreams, follow our own hearts, sure we need to listen to others who have experienced the same things, because we dont want to make the same mistakes as them.  BUT if we follow the idea that we shouldnt do something just because someone else did that and it was the "worst mistake of their lives" why would anyone get married.. i mean people have been divorced in the past so why should we take a chance and see if its either the greatest thing ever or the worst... why would anyone have children I mean people have had miscarriages, people have had unhealthy children who dont live to see their teens... why does anyone go driving, their are many car accidents dailying in which people are killed....

       But we all need to make our own mistakes, we need to follow our OWN dreams and just hope and pray everything works the way we planned...im not saying lets go get high just to see if its a good experience for us, but im saying we need to be more in tune with our own plans, dreams, and hopes, we need to take other views and opinions into consideration but ultimetly its our own lives and we need to live it to the fullest!:)

    So in lieu of this quote, my biggest dream my entire life was to find my "prince charming" my "other half", I wanted to find a guy that loved me for me, that treated me like I deserve to be treated, one that was man enough to treat me right no matter who is around, one that would stand up for me, but who was still compasionate and caring... and I truely have been lucky enough to find that man in Brandon! We argue sure what couple hasnt had an argument from time to time, but we really have a wonderful relationship otherwise!!! We understand each other, we are there for each other, we know each others flaws and are still so in love!! but ... another very big dream of both of ours is to start a family...and I know that eventually we will start our family, but I am just so anxious about it, I want to be pregnant now, I want to start our family... i know i need to be patient, but its so hard to be...its so hard to see other girls who are getting pregnant and then are upset... im not talking about girls who are "complaining" about their symptoms .. i get it pregnancy is ruff and it takes alot out of you .. what I'm talking about is the few girls I know who recently have gotten pregnant who DONT WANT their baby, they are considering abortion, or aren't taking their pregnancy seriously and are smoking and doing drugs to try to loose the baby... I dont understand how those types of girls can get pregnant and other girls who actually want to cant.  (Brandon and I have only been trying for a couple months so im not bitching that im not pregnant I know some woman go years trying with no success) but I just dont get how people who want kids have to work their asses off to try to get pregnant or adopt or whatever, but then there are soo many woman out there who never want children and get pregnant off of a one night stand...I guess this is kinda off of my original post topic but just something that is on my mind lately..

the little things

The last couple weeks have flown by, I feel like I blinked and Bam its 2 weeks later! I've had so much on mind, and so much on my plate that last couple weeks that I really just dont even know where to begine!! but, as some of you know I recently got hired at Buffalo Wild Wings, which is great im so excited because Im just ready to be working again, and making money, but i need to get my license to serve alcohol, and take a safe serv class, so I've been running around crazy trying to get all that stuff done! I had my orientation today, and it was ... well interesting.. this is definetly going to be a new experience! After filling out a ton of paper work, and a quick tour of the place I had to eat a Blazin wing.. that was3 hours ago and my mouth is still on fire lol!! but regardless my manager seems pretty cool, I'm just kinda nervous about not knowing anyone, and everyone that works there seems so close Im worried it might be difficult to get close with anyone!
On top of that stuff, Im getting more and more loaded down with classes.. which is fine by me, I love being busy.  I love getting closer and closer to finishing my degree and graduating! I love the fact that I'm doing something that I love, and something that is going to better not only my life but also my husbands!
One of the other things, that not many of you may know is that Brandon and I have decided to start trying to concieve!! We are both soo excited, and really just cant wait to make our little family bigger!:) We would love to get pregnant soon, just because now that we have decided we want to start trying, we really just cant wait to have a baby, but with this distance thing it might take some time, but regardeless Ill be in Cali in 4 months, so at least by then we can really start trying !! I've got to say, I have an amazing life.. the greatest husband, and a few of the greatest people in my life that anyone could ask for !! I'm also learning (slowly but surely) that some people just arent worth being in my life, and that even though they may have been friends for a long time, or even new friends that I considered to be pretty close... if they are going to act certain ways and do certain things ...then they just arent worth keeping in my life...<3

friendship....

We all throw the words friends and the term friendship around all the time, but does anyone really know what those terms mean? Does anyone really take those words seriously anymore?  Seriously, I have lost so many friends for so many different reasons whether it was my decision to end the friendship or not! Most people these days take friendship as a "take" only relationship, they think that they only need to be around when they need something, or when its convinent for them.  I'm sorry but that just doesn't work for me! Friendship is supposed to be a give and take, your suppose to be there for your friends when they need you, but then they need to be there for you too!! I really just dont understand how soo many people are so focused on just themselves!!  Im not saying all my friends are like this, but that is why I only spend time with a very small group of people, because I would rather have just a couple close friends who I know are truely friends and truely care about me, and friends that I can truely care about!  I'm not the type of person to give a million chances, sure I understand people make mistakes..but at the same time its kinda like the saying "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"

again.. in case anyone forgot.. it is MY life..

First off I want to say that anything I post is not about anyone in particular...its just random thoughts that have been on my mind, and if anyone takes offense to them, please say something to me instead of just completly ignoring me, and talking shit about me behind my back... I dont force anyone to read these posts so if you choose to read them, you choose to at least be mature in how you handle what you read!!!

Secondly, I think all this hype about this snow is getting a little out of hand lol.  I'm sure it is gonna get nasty out, but we live in Northern Indiana, snow and alot of it is normal for us! So why people flip out is beyond me!! On the plus side classes were cancelled for the rest of today, and all of tomorrow!! :) so now a chance to get caught up on homework, and cleaning the house, and laundry.  I also need to get the rest of brandon's Valentines day stuff together so I can get that stuff shipped out before valentines day!

As for that interview I had last week, it went great! however, the manager said he wasnt sure he would be able to give me the hours I was looking to get so he asked me to wait  till next week for him to contact me so he can see if there is anyway he can get me the hours im asking for!! So i mean on the plus side he seems really interested in hiring me... but I just really wish I had a job by now cause im going crazy without one!!!