My oh my, Soooo much has happened in the last 72 hours. For those of you who know me really well, you know the situation you know that Brandon and I were waiting on some news and Monday was the day for answers, and if you know me really well... you know what those answers were and that those were the worst case type answers .... we had planned for both best case scenerio, and worst case scenerio... and now we are having to deal with the worst. It has been such a whirlwind, and I'm not really sure how to put into words how I am feeling at the time being, or how to word things in a way that which others can get an idea of what we are going through without knowing exactly whats going on. Right now Brandon and I wont see each other for 5-6 months, and will have very little contact if any... thats where I am leaving that.It's definetly going to be a change for us, we usually talk for about 2 hours a night, and text pretty much the entire day.... we knew we needed to cut back on that to prepare for deployment, but we didnt have that change. Monday we went into everything thinking it wasnt going to be a big deal, we made a million plans based on that opinion, but now we are changing all that again, we are dealing. The hardest thing through all this for me is not knowing where my husband is or how he is handling all this, not having answers to some pretty important questions, I know I have the guys in his unit to talk to and ask questions, but there are some things they just cant help with!!!
Another thing that bothers me is that I have such a huge support system, and even though I know they support Brandon...right now he really doesnt have that. He doesnt have the ability to talk to whoever he wants whenever he wants, Im able to call his phone whenever I want and listen to his voice, or listen to the voicemails he has left on my phone that I have saved..and he cant do that...Im able to write him ( even though I have no where to send those letters) and I dont know if he can or not. Its just hard, and I know its one of those things you just have to deal with but it just seems soo unfair for the time being.
At this point, Im just ready to have my husband home, we will figure everything out later, all the minor details will be dealt with once he is home, I know our love, our relationship, and our marriage can survive anything... it can survive time and distance apart, it can survive any hardships that we have thrown at us, God knows we have had our share for awhile.... but through it all we are going to come out of it stronger and more in love than ever before! This whole situation has reminded me what the true meaning of being a Marine wife actually is....you HAVE to be strong, being weak isnt an option... I gave myself the last 48 hours to be sad, depressed, and just helpless... but now, now I need to be ...really be a MArine Wife.... I HAVE to deal.. its my only option, I HAVE to hold things together, theres nothing else I can do, I HAVE to do what I can when I cant to help my husband, because really...he is the one going through this, sure its affecting me, but like I said I have all my friends and family to talk to whenever, he doesnt, his only support is when or if he is able to contact me, he is depending on me to be the only support he has until this is over. So thats exactly what I plan to do...be strong and supportive for my husband!!!!!! I'm gonna ask anyone who reads this though, to please send up prayers for my husband and I...we could really use the help until this is all over.. and probably even after!! For the time being... its already been 68 days since we've seen each other and at least 150 more to go... we can do this<3 :)
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