When I told my friends and family at home that I was going to California for a week to spend my birthday with my husband .. the acted like I was crazy and out of my mind, because he was home for 2 weeks right before I went out, so they just assumed that it was a pointless visit! To me it wasnt... any time I get to spend with my husband is treasured, and means the absolute world to both of us! Some people also thought a week was too long... but who gets to judge our lives other than God.. who thinks they are so amazing that they are better than others.. im sorry but that just pisses me off more than anything, and frankly a week wasnt even close to enough time to spend with my husband!!! Im starting to really have a hard time enjoying being at home..each goodbye gets harder, and time between the goodbyes and hellos seem to keep getting longer, and then I come home and everyone seems to think I should just be this little bundle of joy..and no i dont go moping around all day, but the day I leave him Im always just down in the dumps .. but ill get over it jeez no need to give me lectures on how I need to not make someone my everything because "nothing lasts forever"... well to the person that said that .. Fuck you, just because your track records with marriages sucks doesnt mean that everyones is gonna end as fucked up as yours !!
As for my week in Cali...well it was AMAZING!! for some reason when we are at home, between our families both pulling us in opposite directions to spend time with them, and friends we barely feel like a married couple.. but out in california..its just us and we decide who to see, when to see them, and for how long...we have no commitments really other than brandons work, so between work we do what WE want.. and for us that is such an odd situation, but one we love and its how we want our entire relationship. We have been discussing possible places to live after the Marine Corps.. and much to my dismay, he wants to move home..if it were my decision we would stay in california..but we will just have to find some sort of compromise!! We have also started making some pretty big plans for ourselves..one of which being after this semester is over .. no matter what happens with college, im moving to cali , we were planning on me moving there this january but because of school I ended up not .. but we dont want this as a life anymore.. the distance, the unneccesary goodbyes and the continuous heart ache from being apart!!
Something, however, has been weighing on my heart very heavy for the past couple of days, and its just devastating me... but i feel like it may not be appropriate to prodcast that all over the web for the time being .. but just know if im a little upset or cranky and moody.. its because I have alot on my mind, and im really disappointed at the time being!! Ill get past it with the help of my husband and close friends and family, but just know it may take time!
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